Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
