Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
