So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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