Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
