just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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