Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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