I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
