how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
