did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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