I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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