oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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