what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
