I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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