you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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