Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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