Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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