I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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