I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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