she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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