So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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