...so i touched it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
