its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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