sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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