The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
