Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
