fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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