halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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