I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
