I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
