my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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