Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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