Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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