I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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