Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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