Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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