I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
