i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i think my cat just said my name.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
