you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
