i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
