look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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