i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I supernannyed him into submission
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
