This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
