who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize