im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
