I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
