we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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