spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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