fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
