I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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