I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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