omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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