super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
