It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
