you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
