It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
