I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
