Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
