not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
