'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Drunk is a universal language darling
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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