Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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