last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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