Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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