she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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