I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
