Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
