i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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