Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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